Looking beyond and further

Time flies past me as the days goes by, and i rush through things which bear no consequence to my happiness.
I have no goals, no destinations, no needs and no desires, i simply want to stay put and not move further with time,
With the deep foreboding of something that cannot be described on paper i approach myself waiting for my impending doom.

Guilt encompasses me with the comfort of familiarity and with the usual fanfare of a funeral.
Then comes a sliver of light which it seems kind of useless to me because its already too late. Too late like in the dreams where you wake up and you know its too late to remember what you were dreaming about.
With a chilling precision the clock ticks within me, each sound dragging closer something which i really don't want to think about. But the sound keeps growing inside me echoing around in my head, as if making me familiar with my many selfs, Its not the continuity of my decline that surprises me, but its the consistency,
Coining a term "extinction" seems to be a good and apt use of verbal skills in this case. For my days are numbered, may be numbered from the day i was born, but it is only now that realize how numbered they were and how have i wasted them, pursuing frivolous things and useless desires which always left me wanting more.
Which always left me with a vacuum which i could never fill,
Destiny is something which you will never believe unless you have given up faith and hope completely, and accept what others tell you as the truth.

From sympathy to empathy one goes through different stages in life where one has to play the roles as a thousand people before him have done and a thousand to follow will do, it seems one isn't prepared for these instances in life, but when it comes to the crunch, it suddenly seems like this is what we were made for and this what we have wanted all the time. And thus comes the decisions which are done on the spur of the movement and based on the assumption of the merit of ones own self and judgment capabilities....... to haunt you for life.

There is no running away from those decisions and no turning back, it suddenly sounds similar to the clock that's ticking away all the time. From epoch to epoch there's really no end to the clock but only to me..........